Wednesday, August 24, 2005

It could be worse. . .

Inspired by Eduardo's reply in the comments of my last post, I thought it would be fun to play the "at least it wasn't . . ." game to see what kind of interesting substances we can come up with. What is the most horrifying substance you can imagine to be slathered all over your rejection slip AND rejected poems? Here are a few that I thought of:

at least it wasn't. . .
10. vomit. I suppose it's one of the more expected answers, but I'll say it because other's mught not want to insinuate that my poems are bad enough to make someone vomit. . . Also, I've passed back student poems with slight traces of baby vomit on them, but was greatly embarassed and apologized at gret length.

9. pineapple juice. I hate pineapple. I even make a face when something is disguisting to me which my family calls my "pineapple face".

8. Red Ink. That's just obnoxious. :)

7. Snot. Eduardo is right. This is just wrong.

6. Breast milk. Keep it to yourselves, sisters.

5. anthrax. I suppose I should be thankful for an unidentified food smear.

4. spider guts. Though it would make for a more interesting story.

3. blood, urine, feces. The usual suspects.

2. toe jam. Eeew. Maybe that's what it is!?!

1. an apparition. Imagine if the smudge was shaped like the virgin mary? Yikes. But at least then I could sell it on ebay and make some money from it.

Feel free to play along. I know I've forgotten a few goodies. . .

7 comments:

Justin Evans said...

At least it wasn't somebody else's poetry in the return envelope.

Lorna Dee Cervantes said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lorna Dee Cervantes said...

Pubic hair!!

Then people wonder why I don't send out more unsolicited maunscripts!

Pamela said...

I had cigarette ashes in the envelope with one of my rejected stories. At least I hope they were cigarette ashes and not someone's great-aunt Ethel.

poetzie said...

Awesome. I love it. Though I mu st admint, I'm oddly intrigued by the publc hair. . .

bill said...

At least it wasn't diarrhea. One of my cats once ran across a stack of student papers leaving a trail of diarrhea on everything. I then learned that there is no good way to get rid of the smell.


(Leave it to Lorna to add pubic hair! Too bad I reject people through e-mail only. I'm getting some great ideas as to what I could include.)

Lorna Dee Cervantes said...

b: gotta love a guy with cats