Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Three years and counting


is this very moment with it’s eyes
open, the man I love escaping,

the twitch of his heartbeat
in the bowl of his throat. His sleep-

That between him and words
is my world- the only place I let things

happen. The petals we used to put in
our drawers, the summer opening.

We searched all night
for gardenia, where the smell

was coming from, what I tasted
in the cake. His eyes

not opening, but when we found the flower,
I took it, brought it with me,

can still smell it now. His hair is miniscule
and strong, his body-the white

of clay. Everyone should die
with questions, leaving that door

open, to remain, to hold the space

between what we want
and what we want to open.

(Written by me, for my husband, some many years ago. . .)

Today is my husband and I's three year anniversary. Pretty exciting, though the fact that it's Wednesday makes it slightly anticlimactic. But it's definitely a big thing to celebrate, especially because many marriages these days don't see the other side of the three year anniversary. In many ways, it's hard to believe that it's been only three years. We packed a lot into this time: moved from Colorado to Chicago, a PhD program, bought a condo and moved within Chicago, had a baby, suffered the death of three of our grandparents, my parent's divorce and three of the most brutal winters I've ever seen. But in many ways, of course, it seems like only yesterday I was standing next to him, holding my purple flowers, thinking "wow. we're actually married!"
But boy is my Brian a trooper. He's made so many sacrifices for me over the last three years, sacrifices that most men would scoff at and walk away from. But he's still here, and sometimes I even think he might still like me. It will surely be my turn soon to "pay up," but that's OK. That's what it's all about. The give and take.

The poem I posted is very old and different from what I write now, but the lines, "but when we found the flower,/I took it, brought it with me,/can still smell it now" resonates with me today. Love is like a memory: very strong and powerful at first, but it dissipates and settles in, the intensity fades, but it's always there. The stronger the love, the stronger the resonance. Hmm, how sentimantal of me. But true.

I knew it three years ago and I know it more than ever today- I'm am blessed to have Brian as my hubby. He's a keeper.


Valderbar said...

Happy Anniversary.

Scott Glassman said...

yes, congrats!

Lorna Dee Cervantes said...


And what good fortune to love each other & marry under Leo.

(Saturn in Leo since July 16th: some lessons to be had, much maturation, & achieving a whole other level. Hmm, could be more children—Saturn is a long visit. Protect the "back-bone" of the union, the love, undamaged. Leo=loyalty/ the Sun as constant giving Light. Enjoy. Disfrútala!)

Love & poetry

(may you keep to the ever long poem)

Justin Evans said...

Congratulations! Happy Anniversary! May they continue to become more grand as the years pass by.

Patty said...

Happy Anniversary!

Cheryl said...

Happy Anniversary Kenzie! What a beautiful photo, you both look so happy. I wish you both many more years of continued happiness.

poetzie said...

Thanks so much, y'all.

We bought a nice bottle of wine and watched a really wierd movie (The Salton Sea with Val Kilmer- I would recommend it, though not on your anniversary!!!). Life as a married couple with a KID is so much less glamorous than when we were DINC's. But peeking in on Eliot, asleep before we sacked out at 10pm is all the glamor I need, I suppose. This is almost surely what Lorna's horiscope means by "a whole other level."

Nick said...

A belated Happy Anniversary!